Spectrum Spotlight
Coming Out Changed Our Lives — But Not Our Bond | My mum shares her feelings on my transition
To give some background information, I came out around 5-6 years ago as a trans man to my mum. While we had some rocky moments at the beginning, she is now my biggest supporter and my greatest friend. For context my mum moved to the UK from South Africa at 19/20 years old, where this subject wasn’t as widely known or talked about. From listening and actually hearing me in the very beginning, educating herself for my benefit, and being by my bedside after top surgery, I am forever grateful for her support. Now enough sappiness, and let’s get into a Q&A with a parent of a trans man. How do you remember the story of me coming out? Do you think that was a good way for you to find out? ‘I was out salsa dancing, and a notification came up on my watch. I glanced down and it just said ‘’I want to be a boy’’. Then I looked again and the message was deleted. You then waited a few days before typing a longer message with the same intent behind it.’ Do you think this was a good way for you to find out? ‘No, I don’t think that was a good way. I would have preferred us to have had a conversation. I do know it was very difficult for you to tell me, but I also am a very open person and would have taken you seriously.’ Do you remember your initial reaction when I came out? If so, what was it and how have your feelings changed/remained the same? ‘Yes, I was sad (I tried to hide it) but I felt like I was losing my little girl. It was a sense of loss, really.’ Are those feelings of loss still present after 5/6 years of me being out? ‘Over time I realized nothing really changed. While your appearance changed and your name changed, you were still you. There was nothing to lose really.’ What’s something you wish you and I approached differently during the initial settling period (couple of months-year after coming out)? ‘There is nothing I would have approached differently; I think we both handled the situation as best as we could at the time.’ Have you seen a difference in me since being out? This can be positive or negative. ‘Yes, you have become more confident and happier in your skin. It’s lovely to see!’ What’s a common misconception about trans people that you hear when you tell people you have a Trans child? ‘People tend to think it’s a choice that you made. I must explain to them that no child would want to have to make this change. It’s how they were born. Also, when they find out you are attracted to men, they always say ‘’Then why did he transition?’’ People battle to understand that being trans is about your body and being gay is about your feelings.’ What piece of advice would you give to the parents of children who have just come out as Trans? ‘Breathe. Everything gets easier over time. Do your research and try to understand your child. It’s not a choice that they just decided to make overnight, it’s who they are. Be on their side, it’s more difficult for them than for you. And above all, because your child has told you they are trans it does not change who they are inside.’ My own perspective When people ask me for advice on coming out, I always say to people to be understanding yet firm in your identity. While initial shock and confusion are suspected emotions your parents may feel when you come out, that doesn’t mean disrespect and anger is a justifiable response. And while I completely understand parents and loved ones sometimes need time to come around and truly understand, being shocked is no excuse to treat your child poorly. Please remind yourself that you have done nothing wrong by coming out! You are so worthy of love and kindness, so stand up for your identity as you would for a friend.
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A Trans Person’s Guide to Planning a Stress-Free Holiday
1. Go with a friend you trust and who understands why you might feel anxious about parts of your travelling Travelling can be a stressful experience; it's why the phrase ‘I need a holiday from my holiday’ is so widely thrown about these days. So, one thing you can do to make your trip as relaxing as possible is to invite a friend who you like. Someone who understands you and your thought processes. I know what you’re thinking, shouldn’t you like all your friends? And to answer that, yes, yes, you should. But spending days or possibly weeks in someone’s company can really test a friendship. I have friends who I love, but no sum of money could convince me to travel with them – no offence. People have different daily routines and things they enjoy/don’t enjoy doing. For example, if you’re an early bird who likes to go exploring so there’s no anxiety over crowds of people, and you’re travelling with someone who sleeps in till 1pm... yep, welcome to hell my friend. With the addition of being Trans, you may encounter more niche situations. Such as, having a wave of dysphoria suddenly hit in the middle of the day, or getting really stressed out at airport security. Being with someone who understands why you’re feeling like this and who can respond in a way which calms you down is important. Similarly, your friend also needs to feel heard and supported by you. Being able to have active conversations, make compromises, and be kind to each other when things get rough is a must. Sounds simple right? Well, if anything, it’s unsurprising that there’s a saying which reads: ‘if your friendship lasts through a trip, it can last through anything’. 2. Research local laws/culture/social attitudes It's almost a no brainer for one of the first things you check before considering a holiday destination is the current social/political climate. It’s an unfortunate but necessary step when you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community, or any minority group for that fact. One website I would strongly recommend having a look at for this information is Equaldex. It shows all LGBTQ+ rights by country and creates an ‘equality index’ by categorising them into two measures: a ‘legal index’ and a ‘public opinion’ index. It basically does all the research for you – pretty handy. However, looking into the culture and social attitudes can be a bit trickier than simply reading statistics. I’ve found that the best source of information you can get is from the people who live there themselves. So, off to YouTube and Reddit. Before I solo tripped to Hong Kong or Thailand, I binge watched youtubers like my life depended on it. Mapping out places which seemed safe to go out as a trans person, seeing what the people are like towards tourists, and the cultural do’s and don'ts - such as how expressive you can be through clothing. Looking at Reddit can be a useful tool for searching any questions you may have about a country you want to visit and checking responses. With certain topics which aren’t widely talked about, like travelling with hormones, Reddit is a life saver. I remember researching whether flying soon after having top surgery was okay (I had top surgery in South Africa and had to fly back to the UK a week and a half after). I got some useful tips and information which aided my anxiety a lot. And being honest, just hearing that I wasn’t alone in those worries was healing in a way. Some Reddit channels which may be useful to have a look at are as follows: r/asktransgender, r/FtM and r/MtF. 3. Check requirements of the country of entry, including sex markers on passport, hormones, GP letters The most notable place to check the requirements for entry into a country as a trans person will be on the government website of the country you're visiting. These should be constantly kept up to date on new laws and legislation. They will include topics like travelling with hormones (testosterone/oestrogen), the requirement of GP letters, sex marker on passports etc... If you are based in the UK, you can find these here. When on this website, choose your country of choice. After that, there should be an option for advice for LGBT+ travellers - click onto this. Another useful site for information would be, yet again, Reddit. People are very thorough in their responses, and due to it being an anonymous site, people don’t shy away from being as in depth as possible. Just search what you want to know and hundreds of people who are also in your predicament will have helpful responses. Example. I am always surprised by the willingness of strangers to help out. 4. Check lgbt apps for events or accommodation that cater to the LGBT+ community Events One app which I’m sure every gay knows (and deeply loves) which is surprisingly helpful when travelling is Grindr. Though its normally perceived as an app to find some mutual fun every now and then... When in more conservative countries, Grindr can be a useful tool to find where the LGBTQ+ nightlife is when it seems non-existent. From underground gay clubs to hidden jungle parties, it may just persuade you to keep your Grindr account alive for a little while longer. Another helpful app for finding queer spaces is ‘Everywhere is Queer’ (EIQ). EIQ is an app which has a map that pinpoints locations of queer run businesses near you. So rather than spending an hour on google maps, you have it all already jotted down on the app. It includes hairdressers, general events, tattoo artists, cafe’s etc... And now more than ever, queer run spaces need our support, so why not give it a go. Accommodation Now to the dreaded accommodation. Personally, one of my most stressful parts when planning a holiday. Not knowing who you’re bunk mates will be if you’re hostelling, worrying that you’ll be locked out of the air BnB when you arrive, or if the host will be a bit funny when two people of the same gender show up at their little shepherd's hut getaway. To ease some of this tension, I would recommend looking at MisterB&B and Quouch. MisterB&B is a gay air BnB site where you can choose between hotels, apartments, villas, private rooms etc... But the big pull to the site is that all the accommodation listed is by LGBTQ+ people or allies. Useful tip - people often use MisterB&B to book a private room at someone's place to receive tips from local gays (aka the host). And hey, if you’re feeling a bit adventurous, there’s even a dating mode on the app. Quouch would be a more ideal option if you’re travelling solo and, on a budget, – think couch surfing hosted by LGBTQ+ people for LGBTQ+ people. What's not to love? 5. What to pack There are your obvious essentials when packing for a holiday as a trans person, such as; any medication or hormones you take, prescription notes, and gender affirming clothing like binders/tape/packers or prosthetics. But here are some miscellaneous additions you may want to add to your packing list: Sports bras/light compression binders; If you wear binders and are planning on being relatively active on holiday, be sure to switch out your standard daily binder for something with lighter compression e.g. Spectrum’s binder light or a sports bra. Alternatively, you can also simply size up on your standard binder if this will make you feel more secure going about your day. This is to prevent restricted breathing. Breathable clothing; Even though being fashion forward on holiday is a high priority for some, ensuring you’ve packed clothing ideal for the climate is a must. While capri jeans are cute, pairing them with a humid country is not a good idea (and yes, I am talking from experience...) although you’ll look cute, the excessive sweating is not worth it! So exchange those jeans and polyester shirts with cottons, linens and sweat wicking fabrics. You’ll thank yourself later I swear. Sun protection; Those tattoos are not going to protect themselves as much as you believe they will. As well as it just being good for your skin in general, SPF is your best friend for tattoos and any surgery scars you may have. Putting sunscreen onto your scars prevents permanent discoloration and protects collagen while the skin heals. Even if the place you’re going to is not forecasted for sunny weather – bring and wear suncream! Comfort items; Whether it’s your go to teddy bear that helps you sleep, or headphones that help you relax after a hectic day, it’s truly the little things that make a big impact when travelling. Pack things that are going to help you wind down from a possibly taxing day.
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Travelling is for everybody | 5 Safety Tips for Planning a Holiday as a Trans Person
Travelling is an incredible adventure that every person should be able to experience, but for us trans folk, there are extra considerations to take into account. These can be handy to to research before you take flight incase any anxiety kicks in. So, to help get your brain going, here are five tips for planning your holiday as a trans person, presented to you as a trans man with extreme wanderlust. Use filters when looking for accommodation to check they are LGBTQ+ friendly Whether you’re booking a hostel, a hotel, or an air bnb, being comfortable is key. Using filters such as, ‘LGBTQ+ Friendly’ on websites can help ease your mind that you will not be met with a group of frat boys or a homophobic/transphobic host. Whether you’re using well-known accommodation apps like Booking.com and Hostelworld or more obscure LGBTQ+ options like MisterB&B and Quouch, most accommodation sites these days have the option of filtering results to only show you LGBTQ+ friendly places. Don’t be afraid to take advantage of these filters and book a place which suits you! Believe me, there’s nothing worse than dreading to come back to a space which is supposed to bring you peace. Especially on holiday. Use apps like flush/toilet finder to find public, safe to use bathrooms The dreaded public bathroom. It’s funny how debated this subject is among people when going into a men's bathroom myself, as a trans man, is in fact not the highlight of my day. Loud groans, clogged toilets and stalls with broken doors - believe me if we had the option to stop our bladders from working when we’re out we would. But unfortunately, it is a bodily necessity. Apps like Flush and toilet finder can help to scope out the public bathroom situation before going out. They allow you to check requirements, such as if there are any fees, and what toilets they have available. With most toilets being gendered, you can check to see whether there are any disabled toilets at a premises before waltzing in, if you would feel more comfortable using them. Keep in contact with loved ones, and let them know where you are in case any emergency situations arise While it can seem silly at times, being in communication with loved ones ensures someone knows A) where you are and B) that you are safe. Sending a simple ‘I’ve arrived at my accommodation (with a link of where you’re staying)’ is suffice. And, giving a check in update every few days with some pictures of your holiday will probably ease your friends/families minds too! While having fun should be your main priority when travelling around, exercising caution should be pretty close behind this. Taking risks is a given, we risk our lives doing mundane tasks daily: walking downstairs, crossing the road, driving etc... Without risk we would not be truly living and enjoying life. But we have a responsibility to ourselves to oversee our own safety. So, recognising when a certain risk seems to cross your boundaries is important. Being LGBTQ+ increases potential risk when travelling. And depending on how openly you express yourself through outfits for example, this risk factor can increase. Listen to your intuition and trust your gut! I’ve found myself in situations that have really taught me the importance of listening to my body, an under-appreciated skill when travelling. Research any medical and emergency resources, especially trans friendly medical facilities Before travelling you may find it useful to check what level of trans healthcare is available wherever you may be going. Then you can evaluate - based on the level of care and the likelihood of you needing treatment – whether it's worth it to go to your chosen destination or whether it would be better to wait until you’re unlikely to need to see a doctor. If there are hospitals/medical facilities that specialise in trans healthcare in your chosen destination, it can be handy to have a few numbers and locations jotted down on your note's app just in case. Sexual health is also something to consider. One tip that I hadn’t known about till recently is that if you’re travelling around Europe, there are HIV testing clinics, otherwise known as ‘checkpoints’ scattered all throughout. The term ‘checkpoint’ came into circulation in 2002 when one of the first community-based HIV rapid testing service known as ‘checkpoints’ was established in Amsterdam. They also test for all sexual health related infections and give out vaccinations. Having these ‘checkpoints’ available allows a safe place for LGBT+ people to go which is free from judgement. To see a map of all of these in the EU click here. Weigh the need for personal safety over the need for self-expression. Self-expression, put in simple terms, is how you express your personality, thoughts and feelings through certain mediums. These mediums can be art, music or style based for example. To some, being able to openly express themselves is a natural requirement. And the notion of having to repress this and present themselves in a way which doesn’t correlate with how they feel is unthinkable. Certain religions, social taboos, and political environments can cause some countries to be unsafe if you want to openly express yourself; asking yourself the question of whether you can sacrifice your self-expression to visit said countries is important. Going into ‘stealth’ mode, while necessary in certain areas to be safe with external conflict, can create a lot of internal conflict within ourselves. So, putting yourself, your needs, and your safety first should always be the priority! However, an important reminder - no matter how much research you do, the people and cultural norms of a country can be entirely different from what you expect. To help put this into perspective, my parents moved to the UK from South Africa. Because of this I often visit family over there. From an outsider's perspective, South Africa is a dangerous and politically corrupt place. And while that is somewhat true... I can say for a fact that I have never met nicer people than the locals there. However, the former may also apply, you may think a country is very progressive in their views from the outset and get hit with an upsetting realisation when you’re there. Long story short, you can never be fully prepared for the reality! And while that is a daunting thought, it’s also the reason why we travel. A good tip for travelling worldwide is to always pack a safe outfit or two for the ‘what if’ situations you may find yourself in. Such as visiting religious temples and needing a covered-up clothing option. Or realising that the air bnb you booked is in a location that doesn’t seem as LGBTQ+ friendly as the city. Simply packing things like sports bras, long trousers and full coverage shirts will help to ease your mind. Like I stated at the beginning of this blog, travelling is for every body. You have the right, regardless of sexuality or gender, to see countries and make memories that will last you a lifetime. While there may be some extra steps in the process of planning and booking your holiday, don't let this dissuade you. With some good music in the background, good snacks, and maybe some company, planning can be a great chance to get you in the holiday spirit!
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A Safe Space For Trans & Non-Binary Fitness: Inside Fuzz Culture Club
Meet Lucinda (they/them), a trans masc non-binary fitness and nutrition coach working to create a safe and encouraging space for LGBTQ+ fitness. The Spectrum Outfitters team recently visited Lucinda for a chat about their online fitness community, Fuzz Culture Club, and all things LGBTQ+ fitness. Here’s what they had to say…
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5 Things I wish I knew before navigating dating and hook-up culture as a trans man
Entering the dating world is a challenge in itself, best believe I have been on a few dating apps myself and have chickened out a week in 80-90% of the time. Dating is hard. Constantly wondering whether your texts are interesting enough, getting unwanted advice from friends and family who state they have it all figured out (but are on their 3rd partner for the year), and then when you finally think you’ve found someone compatible - you get ghosted. Now after all of this hardship, adding the trans card on top of that can seem like you may as well just give up. But don’t worry, I have taken the brunt of this pain for you all and after my years of casual dating as a gay trans man, I have managed to compile 5 things that if I knew at the beginning of all this, maybe it wouldn’t have been so hard to navigate. You are not the downgrade by being trans. I want this to firmly stick in any trans person's mind who is reading this, including my own. It’s funny, and quite frankly insane, the number of times I have allowed certain behaviour to pass because I felt lucky to be picked by a cisgender guy. Whether that’s to go out on a date, have a conversation, or to spend a casual night with. The thought of not being ‘manly’ enough, fuelled how I allowed potential interests to treat me. And even though I try my best to not do this anymore, it is easy to see why so many trans people end up falling into this trap. An overly flirty demeanour with compliments being pushed left, right and centre to boost your self-esteem, can smoothly hide the awkward comments made every so often. ‘So . . . what’s in your pants?’, ‘You don’t look trans’ and my personal favourite after a night out, ‘You’re like the best of both worlds’. For others with a different gender expression, this could be a compliment but for me this definitely isn’t and has really knocked my confidence in the past. It’s easy to brush these comments off and continue, but it shouldn’t be. Accepting that this is the best you can get from dating will only fuel your own negative self-talk. And believe me, you’ll only feel worse off the morning after. If you feel like the person you’re talking to sees you as the ‘downgrade’ or the ‘last resort’ by being trans, then put bluntly, that is not your person. Staying in that situation in fear of being alone will not bring you the happiness that you deserve from love. If someone has an issue with your gender identity, that is on them. Not you. How we choose to express our gender identity will influence how people view and treat us. This can be said for dating as well as daily life. I’ve been on testosterone for around 3 ½ years now and dress relatively masculinely. Due to this I have heard the phrase ‘You don't look trans’ a few times here and there. While I understand that this is meant to be a compliment and the majority of people who say this do not hold any ill will, it pushes forth a stereotype of what a trans person is supposed to look like, and reinforces the idea that just because I or someone else doesn’t ‘look transgender’, we are somehow more worthy of peoples respect. I felt pressure to only start dating when my transition was ‘completed’ due to this idea that I wasn’t yet ‘worthy’. And even though I am glad it indirectly gave me time to be focused on myself, I wish it wasn’t for that reasoning. Let's kick this off by saying transitioning isn’t a point A-B journey. For example, many trans people don’t want to take hormones as they feel comfortable and confident without them. Some take hormones but don’t feel like they need to undergo any surgical procedures or simply don’t have the funds to. And others undergo surgical procedures but don’t take hormones. Each trans person's transition is personal and unique to them, and wherever you are in your transition, you are allowed to date. If someone has a problem that you aren’t at a specific stage in your transition, or that you aren’t taking their version of the expected pathway, then that’s their problem not yours. When do I come out to a potential date? The fear that comes alongside disclosing my identity to people is actually one of the main reasons I refrain from online dating. I found myself questioning whether I was ‘deceiving’ people and wondering whether if they knew who I ‘really was’ would they have even begun a conversation with me in the first place. In all honesty it's one of my biggest fears to this day, thus I don’t have a set answer to this question. But nevertheless, I have tried my best to compile my thoughts into a semi-readable state. There is no correct time to come out. Whether you are someone who likes to be open about your identity and let people know off the bat, or whether you prefer to go on 3 dates before opening up that side of yourself. Coming out to a love interest should always be on your own timeframe and terms. And if you ever feel like you are being pushed to disclose your identity by friends or family members, gently remind yourself, and them, that this is your life. Personally, I don’t want someone to be swayed or deterred simply due to the [Trans] tag in my dating bio. Yes, it is a part of my life, but I like to keep it private until I know whether I am genuinely interested in pursuing a person. However, if you are looking for a casual/one off situation, I would advise to disclose your gender identity before any intimacy takes place for your own safety as well as to bypass any awkwardness in the moment. Become comfortable in who you are before putting yourself out there. Looking back, obsessing over the faults of my body may not have been the best self-love mantra, but when you are so busy thinking of the ‘future you’ who has everything the current you wants, it becomes common practice to criticise the person whose actively staring back in the mirror. When I found myself chasing the high of validation, I would download dating apps and soak up every positive comment. But this, sadly, does not fix the root problem. Even if I did manage to find someone incredible, the confidence I held within myself, and my identity, was severely lacking which would have caused strain on a relationship. While experiencing growth within a relationship is completely possible and even to be expected, you also need to have a baseline acceptance and knowledge of who you are first. I know this idea is overly used and corny but liking who you are is important. Respecting who you are is important. As a trans person, you can find yourself on some weird dates or casual encounters where people view you less as a person and more as a fascination. Respecting yourself enough to know you don’t deserve that treatment is crucial, otherwise, you may just find yourself talking to a chaser. Beware of chasers. Firstly, what is a chaser? A chaser is an individual who is attracted to and seeks out romantic and/or sexual partners who are transgender. In this section I initially want to premise that people are allowed to have their preferences when dating. It is completely normal to lean towards a certain appearance or personality. For example, I often find myself drawn towards confident and driven individuals because I find those qualities to be attractive. However, there is a big distinction between being attracted to a person who happens to be transgender and actively seeking trans people out due to certain motivations. Luckily, I have never been knowingly involved with a chaser, but I can imagine finding out that you’ve only been seen as a bucket list item to be ticked off since day one is a pretty awful feeling. Now if you are solely looking for fun, personally I wouldn’t worry as much about this, purely for the fact that in this case both parties are, in short, ‘using’ each other for a common goal. And normally you understand each other's preferences from the start, not 3 months into a relationship... However, please use your own judgement to ensure you are safe! As we have reached the end of my rambling let me remind you that I am no relationship guru, I am simply a 20-year-old trans guy trying to give my community some advice that a younger version of me needed to hear but couldn’t find. If you take away anything from this, I hope that you recognise that just because you are trans doesn’t mean there is no hope of finding love or experimenting with people. General safety advice for using dating apps: Meet in a busy public place the first few times Let your friends know where you will be or share your location with them Don't tell your date where you live until you have got to know them Make your own way to and from the date
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Pole dancing as a Trans Man: Reclaiming confidence after transitioning
I am a 20-year-old trans man who’s been transitioning for the past 3 years, and as a former shy kid, confidence was often seen as something out of reach. The very thought of going up in front of a classroom to speak was... frankly put, a death wish to me. However, once all the puzzle pieces fell into place and the ‘Eureeka’ moment of knowing I was trans occurred, I began dressing and presenting in ways that made me feel glimpses of that joy and confidence I had been previously chasing. But, even with this, I continued to overanalyse my appearance and body to an extremely unhealthy extent. The transition process for me, was a constant nit-pick of every detail of myself that I wish I had/didn't have. And this, surprisingly I know, completely shattered my confidence. But after 3 long years, I finally felt like I was in a place where I could begin to regain that confidence and sexuality. And thus, my pole journey began. I would like to start off by saying that this decision to jump into pole dancing did not come about easily. In fact, it took me two years to finally pursue it seriously. So less like jumping in and more like slowly wading down the steps of a pool. If you are a trans person, then I am sure you understand the amount of time and money it takes to become comfortable in your own skin. So, the thought of putting that body which has caused me so much anxiety and pain on show to face all sorts of possible criticisms and judgements was, to say the least, terrifying. But that's exactly why I chose to do pole dancing. Going outside of your comfort zone is arguably one of the best ways to grow and gain confidence as a person, so it's no surprise that it's literally one of the most stress-inducing things you can do. I remember having to give myself a pep talk in my car for 10 minutes before going into my first class so I wouldn’t just drive away. But in order to grow and gain confidence, it's a necessary thing. I knew that the level of hatred I felt for myself was not healthy, and having the added bonus of working at a company where we praise and preach for trans people to be proud of their identity, it made this feeling feel laughably ironic. But I’m pleased to say that now after four months of pole, I’ve truly never felt more confident in myself and my body. In fact, I moved out recently and made one of my top priorities to install a pole in my flat. Taking the first step will always be the most challenging part of trying something new, the thought of failure or embarrassment can be overwhelming at times. But the rewards and self-discovery you can gain are priceless. It’s something that I will never stop recommending and pushing for people to do. In truth, starting this hobby also led me to realising all the restrictions I had forcibly put onto myself to fit into the ‘acceptable’ trans person category, which further caused my lack of confidence. One of these was forcing myself to reject femininity. Now what is femininity? Stated by the reliable source known as Wikipedia, femininity is ‘a set of attributes, behaviours, and roles generally associated with women and girls.’ These can be influenced by both cultural and biological factors. If you’ve had to deal with any negativity from family, friends or even strangers due to transitioning, one of the easiest ways to prove them wrong, I found, was to swear off anything which may cause concern of your seriousness. This includes anything feminine. For example; cutting your hair, wearing nothing colourful, hiding your figure, not wearing makeup etc. After dealing with these thoughts, I found myself being confined into a sphere of what I could and could not do in order to prove myself as worthy of basic respect and acknowledgement. However, this constant disregard of femininity can bring about an underlying hatred of anything feminine or even throwing prejudice against other trans people for embracing it themselves. And in recent times where trans people are being used as political pawns, respecting how others choose to embrace themselves within the community itself should be placed on high priority. I’m not lying when I say simply wearing my attire to pole made me: 1) feel the most feminine I have in my life (even pre-transition) and, 2) made me feel the most confident I have ever felt in my life. To give you a rough idea, my pole attire is as follows: Tight shorts (basically underwear), a tank top and 9’’ heels. I know what you’re thinking and yes, I look magnificent. But the thing that took me most by surprise was the realisation that embracing femininity actually gave me confidence and a sense of security within myself rather than taking it away. I also got majorly lucky with who my classmates were. To this day they have not asked once about how I choose to identify and have showed me respect and kindness regardless -even when my obvious lack of parts are on show. I distinctly remember getting into my car after class and releasing the biggest sigh of relief. The last thing I would want is for others to be uncomfortable with my presence. This thought process was actually one of the other primary reasons for the big two year delay. I had many people tell me the following: People won’t notice that your body is ‘different’ / people won’t care. However, people will judge you, that is a fact. We all pass judgement on strangers that we see whether that be positive or negative. However, I believe having confidence comes from recognising that people will pass judgement on you but choosing to try regardless. It isn’t about not caring what other people think, it is rather caring about the right people. Let’s start off by saying that this is MUCH easier said than done. There is no timeline for gaining confidence and understanding your worth. Although it would be lovely to wake up one day spiritually enlightened, unfortunately it's a lifelong journey. We as people have a deeply human desire to fit in. So, to go against an expected path and instead pursue what makes you happy becomes somewhat challenging. And let's be honest, being transgender is basically like putting a bulldozer on that pathway, watching it be destroyed, and then having to rebuild it brick by brick with other people watching and waiting for you to screw up. But keep in mind, the beauty of it is that you can re-build that pathway however you want. I found there to be so much pressure to be the ‘acceptable’ trans man that I became a shell of myself in constant worry of other people’s perceptions of me. I lived like this for years, and to be frank, it was exhausting. To put so much time and energy into caring about people who don’t even know you, can cause you to lose focus on the people who do matter and on yourself. I have a very small selection of people who I truly love and care for. They have continuously been there for me throughout my life, push me to be the best version of myself, and are people I admire and learn from. If you have people like this around you, to help relieve the worry of strangers I am going to suggest the most basic advice. Talk to them and listen. And I mean actively listen to them and take what they say onboard. Recognise that these people in your life should be the only people's opinions that you take seriously. The person that shouted a slur at you on the street doesn’t know who you are, they took the bare minimum information that they could gather from your attire/physique/attraction and formed a version of you that doesn’t exist. Their opinion on you does not dictate your worth and never will. You are the only one with the power to do that. I was terrified to walk into that first pole class, it felt like a massive step, but after the first time it gradually got easier and easier until I felt no fear. My confidence grew each time, and with that, so did the trust I had within myself rather than a few opinions of strangers. Regaining confidence within yourself is not an easy task, it takes persistence and action. It doesn’t matter how big the first step is, so please don’t feel like you need to start pole dancing to gain confidence! Everyone is different and what might work for me may not work for you. It only matters that you take the step. Whether that be wearing something that you have always wanted to but have been too afraid, joining a club, or getting into therapy. Take the step. And hey, you may find that it doesn’t work but then take that as a learning experience and try something else. Don’t give up on yourself, we are all worthy of the love that resides within us.
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From Sea to Tree: How we transform ocean plastics into chest binders to fund climate action projects across the globe
Our binders are trash. Litter. Garbage. At least, to begin with... Our binders begin life as old carpets, second hand garments, industrial waste, and of course fishing nets. We give this waste new life as chest binders. Find out more here!
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How to Customise Your Chest Binder For Cosplay or Halloween
By Robin Bateman Disclaimer: If you paint on your binder, please be aware that you will need to spot clean it from now on, as washing may damage your artwork and will stain your binder. We strongly recommend not painting on a binder that you wear regularly. Happy creating! Whether you want to customise your chest binder for cosplay, create a gender affirming Halloween costume, or just want your binder to feel a bit more you, painting your chest binder is super fun, creative, and pretty simple! This guide will walk you through the process step-by-step — plus a few dos and don’ts I learned the hard way! For this guide, I’m using three examples of chest binder cosplays: The Babadook – we can’t forget our favourite spooky LGBTQ+ icon. Superman – super simple costume, fun for Comic-Con, and a classic. Also, the new movie? I might be a bit too obsessed Luffy (One Piece) – for all the weebs! Recognisable, easy, and great if you wish you could cosplay a shirtless character (but haven’t had top surgery). What You’ll Need Before we begin, gather your materials: Your binder (dark colours work, but light ones really pop!) Fabric paint Fabric medium (don’t skip this — it makes the paint flexible and the binder washable afterwards) Pencils, pens, or chalk (for sketching) Masking tape (optional but helpful) Paintbrushes A hair dryer (for setting layers) Reference image or sketch of your design Old clothes to paint in! (trust me on this) Step 1: Choose Your Cosplay or Halloween Design Start with a character, pattern, or anything else that you’d like to paint onto your chest binder. This can be as simple or complex as you like - sketch your own idea, print out a reference, or pull up an image on your phone or laptop. Think about what you’ll use it for — cosplay? Pride events? The choice is yours. Step 2: Sketch or Tape It Out Lightly sketch your design on your chest binder using pencil or chalk. You can also use masking tape to block out clean lines or sections if your design needs sharp edges. Be careful not to sketch too darkly onto light binders as the lines might still show up underneath your paint. Also remember – some masking tape will let paint through slightly, the lines will help as a guide, but won’t always give precise, clean lines. Step 3: Mix Your Paints with Fabric Medium This is crucial: mix every colour 1:1 with fabric medium.Fabric medium helps the paint stay flexible, prevents cracking, and keeps the design washable. It will thin your paint, so you’ll need more layers, but your future self (and your binder) will thank you. Step 4: Lay Down a Base Coat If you’re going for a vibrant design, start with a white base layer — it helps the colours stay bright! Let each layer dry completely before adding another. For speed, use a hair dryer between coats (on low/medium heat). Step 5: Add More Layers This part can be a bit boring, but it’s worth it. Apply multiple coats of paint, letting each one dry before moving on. Use your hair dryer in between to speed up the process. The smoother the base, the better your final design will look. Step 6: Paint Your Final Design Now for the fun part — the top layer! Take your time adding in details, colours, and outlines. Remember: Light colours go first Darker colours layer on top(It’s much easier to cover up light colours with dark ones rather than vice versa! Plus, then there’s no need to awkwardly try and avoid mixing the light colour with the dark outline by mistake and ending up with a gross muddy colour instead of what you really wanted) Step 7: Heat Set the Design Once you’re happy with your design, heat set your design using a hair dryer. This helps the paint bond to the fabric and stay in place when worn or washed. (⚠️ Do NOT use an iron — it can melt your binder and ruin your hard work!) Washing & Care Spot wash by hand when needed. The design should hold up well if you used fabric medium, but some fading is likely over time. Also be aware that there is always a risk that parts of the design will smudge if fully submerged in water, so be very careful and be prepared for touch-ups in future! Dos & Don’ts ✅ Do: Mix paint with fabric medium 1:1 every time Apply multiple coats Sketch your design first Use a hair dryer to speed things up and heat set Trust the process — it won’t look perfect at first! Spot clean gently ❌ Don’t: Wear your favourite clothes while painting (paint stains are forever) Paint on a binder that you plan to wear daily Use an iron to heat set Skip the fabric medium — your paint will crack Layer light over dark — start light! Accidentally drink your paint water (not from experience or anything) Happy painting, and don’t forget to take breaks, hydrate (not with paint water), and post your finished look online — we’d love to see it!
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Celeb trans allies who put a certain children’s author to shame 👀
This Pride, we would like to take a second to highlight some positive instances of support from some superstar trans allies. Despite the consistent attacks faced by the trans community, from a certain disgraced children's author and various hateful politicians, there are still lots of people who love and support us. These are just a few of some of the world's most notable allies. Robert De Niro One of the worlds most famous and respected actors has recently come forward in support of his trans daughter. Airyn De Niro, introduced herself to the world this year in a beautiful interview with Them. At the time, when asked about Airyn, De Niro said: “I love and support Airyn as my daughter. I don't know what the big deal is, I love all my children." View this post on Instagram A post shared by BuzzFeed UK (@buzzfeeduk) More recently, he addressed the topic again in an interview with Entertainment Tonight, stating: “Well, there's certain things you can do and certain things you can't do, but the main thing is to support your kids,” He continued: “As long as they’re not hurting themselves, doing anything destructive or anything like that, you have to support them. Period." The two-time Oscar winner is extremely popular with cis men and some of his most notable roles are that of gangsters or other examples of extremely toxic masculinity. In light of this, his supportive comments come as a breath of fresh air, bringing hope that his openness can inspire other cis men. Kate Nash With her new track ‘GERM’ Kate Nash is directly calling out She Who Shall Not Be Named and other TERFs in style. The lyrics address the recent supreme court ruling, highlighting that trans people aren’t a threat to women. “Women are facing serious dangers not during boxing matches or from trans people needing a piss But from actual violence that is carried out against them every week” The song also features important statistics about misogyny and toxic masculinity. In an interview with Attitude magazine, she said: “Feminism is dismantling systems of oppression, so to be transphobic is not feminist. Feminism has to be intersectional. So I wanted that on record, because at the moment, the loudest cultural voice in the room, who created one of the most successful things ever to come out of the UK, Harry Potter, is transphobic, and is very cruel online and very crass, and it’s just become so nasty. I just need to put this out into the world, even just so in history, this exists. I hope that it also allows other cis women and feminists to be more vocal and be less afraid to approach the subject, because I think people are afraid to talk about it.” View this post on Instagram A post shared by Kate Nash (@katenash) Kesha Pop diva Kesha came out swinging for the dolls at London festival The Mighty Hoopla. She headlined the festival rocking a ‘Protect the dolls’ tee and brought out Jake Shears of Scissor Sisters fame to spread some queer love. They performed a mash up of the iconic queer Scissor Sisters track ‘Lets have a kiki’ and Keshas own ‘We R who we R’. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Mighty Hoopla (@mightyhoopla) Pedro Pascal The internet’s daddy, Pedro Pascal, has long been a vocal supporter of trans rights. Most recently, he’s been seen wearing a ‘Protect the dolls tee’ and calling She Who Shall Not Be Named a “heinous loser” in an Instagram comment under a video by writer and activist Tariq Raouf. Pedro’s sister, Lux Pascal, is a trans actress, model and activist. Lux has appeared on a number of Chilean soap operas and dramas as well as appearing alongside Pedro in Netflix’s Narcos. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Pedro Pascal he/him (@pascalispunk) Daniel Radcliffe Award-winning actor Daniel Radcliffe, got his start in the industry appearing as the lead role in the film adaptation of You Know Who’s books. But, in light of her constant attacks on trans people online and in the press, Daniel felt it was important to stand up for trans people. He wrote a statement, published by The Trevor Project a trans non-profit that he has supported for the last decade. In the statement, Daniel states: “Transgender women are women. Any statement to the contrary erases the identity and dignity of transgender people and goes against all advice given by professional health care associations who have far more expertise on this subject matter than either Jo or I.” Jade Thirlwall On Saturday 31 May, pop diva Jade Thirlwall led the crowd of The Mighty Hoopla, in saying “Fuck You” to She Who Shall Not Be Named. Since rising to fame in the pop group Little Mix, Jade has consistently defended the trans community. In 2021 the talented singer won a Gay Times Allyship award in 2021 and more recently commented on her responsibility to speak out against growing transphobia: “Cancel culture is thriving right now. When you're in the public eye, it’s quite scary. I’ve always been vocal, and I’m not always going to get it right. But you can’t be a pop artist these days without speaking out on certain issues” “We’re seeing an attack on the trans community, and with my large LGBTQ+ fanbase, I can’t sit back and not defend that community. I’m happy to face the consequences if it means doing the right thing.” View this post on Instagram A post shared by GLAAD (@glaad)
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Greer Lankton | Queer artist, doll maker, trailblazer
Original image: Peter Hujar, 1983 Greer Lankton | Queer artist, doll maker, trailblazer A talented artist with a troubled soul, Greer Lankton faced many challenges throughout her life, and her artwork provided her with comfort amidst the chaos. However, some critics believed she relied too heavily on her artwork leading to an obsession, burnout and her eventual undoing. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Greer 💖 Lankton (@greer_lankton_archives_museum) As a child, Greer was drawn to feminine clothing and playing with dolls. As she was AMAB her family wouldn’t allow her to play with ‘feminine’ toys as they disapproved of her breaking the gender binary, so she often made her own dolls out of socks and pipe cleaners to keep her company and give her an outlet to explore gender expression. Even though her self-expression was dimmed by her parents, her early artistic ambitions were supported by them. She entered and won many shows and competitions all over the Midwest, before moving to New York in 1978 in her early 20s to study at the Pratt Institute. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Greer 💖 Lankton (@greer_lankton_archives_museum) Greer became engrossed in the process of creating dolls. She composed them out of soda cans, wire, tape, paper, plaster, stockings and finished them with realistic glass eyes. One was described by Nan Goldin, one of Greers contemporaries and friends, as "A huge cloth hermaphrodite giving birth", this was said to have been made after a dream in which Greer gave birth to herself. Her work mainly focused on sexuality, gender and the effects of consumerism, with Goldin suggesting that “In bringing her dolls to life, Greer worked through her own traumas with her dolls”. Lankton battled with an eating disorder for many years, and her unhealthy relationship with food was expressed within her dolls. Many were seen with flared ribs, emaciated, while others were unhealthily overweight. The creation of her art was intertwined with her own life and complicated relationship with body image. Hilton Als, an American writer and Theater critic, wrote how ‘’No artist is down on her luck when she has her art. It’s what Greer fed on, even when she ate no other food at all. Her dolls were starved for our attention.”. Greer also struggled with continuous substance abuse when she relocated to New York, which also had influence on many of her doll’s looks. They were a reflection of her own addictions, traumas and struggles with her gender identity. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Greer 💖 Lankton (@greer_lankton_archives_museum) Like herself, Greer’s dolls were constantly being reworked – she had an approach that the human body was in a constant state of metamorphosis, influencing her into obtaining a habit of changing the doll’s size, gender, and clothes frequently. In some way, she was her very own doll surrounding herself with a family of ‘freaks’. Greer derived much of her inspiration from celebrities as well, creating them in glamorous and sometimes haunting lights. Some examples would include; Candy Darling and Divine. Greer underwent gender-affirming surgery aged 20 in 1979. At this time the surgery was riskier and more experimental than today. Her husband, Paul Monroe says she suffered from pain and complications from the surgery until her death. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Greer 💖 Lankton (@greer_lankton_archives_museum) Greer and Paul were married in 1987 and are said to have divorced in 1992 although Paul himself states they never really divorced. In the early 90’s while dealing with the loss of many of her friends through the aids pandemic she moved back to Chicago to focus on her own ill health. Her career began to dwindle from the art world until, in 1995, she got given an opportunity to put on an exhibition for the Mattress Factory in Pittsburgh. Margery King, the curator of The Mattress Factory and Michael Olijnyk, went to visit Greer about the exhibition, arriving in Greer’s small apartment which was overflowing with her dolls in all stages of production. Her home was such an incredible display of her talent, Michael and Margery both agreed that Greer could reproduce an installation inspired by her apartment for the exhibition. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Greer 💖 Lankton (@greer_lankton_archives_museum) Many agree that those last moments of Greer bringing to life her installation, ‘It's all about ME not you’, were some of her happiest in a while. She was surrounded by admirers and completely engrossed in her work. Though down to 90 pounds, she always wore a smile, and her work ethic was beyond extraordinary. She sadly passed not even a month after the exhibition had been unveiled to the public by accidental overdose. Greer’s passion for her art allowed her to have a creative outlet for her pain and suffering during her struggles with substance abuse, addiction and a severe mental health disorder. Greer’s friend and photographer Nan Goldin described Greer’s work as “so visceral, so exposed, that I once told her it was like an operation without anesthesia.” Critics may have said her obsession with her art bought about her eventual undoing, but according to those closest to her it seems like she used her creative outlet as a form of therapy. Greer granted other queer and trans individuals the opportunity to be seen; something so valuable during her lifetime and today. Sources https://greerlankton.com/ https://www.artnet.com/magazineus/features/morton/morton1-26-07.asp By Julia Morton https://www.artforum.com/features/greer-lankton-162842/ By Nan Goldin https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-1980s-icon-greer-lankton-explored-glamour-gender-eerie-dolls By Alina Cohen
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Trans Travel: Solo trip to Hong Kong
Before we begin the journey, I’ll share some background information about myself. I'm Parker, a 19-year-old trans man with a passion to explore different environments and cultures all over the world. I have been wanting to start travelling for years and with no-one jumping at the opportunity to join and finally being at an age where it is easier to travel alone, I decided to give solo travelling a try. With Hong Kong being a direct and cheap ticket at the time, I booked it with a month spare to prepare and plan my trip. Truth be told, I’m a big procrastinator and ended up booking the majority of my plans after I arrived, while focusing primarily on the language and cultural do's and don'ts during the month leading up to my departure. The thought of going alone to a different country surprisingly caused me little to no worry, in fact it didn’t hit me that I was travelling alone at all until I was standing in the Hong Kong International airport without anyone to help guide me where to go. It is important to remember that everyone can react to experiences differently – so if the thought of solo travel makes you feel anxious, read on and I hope I'll be able to assuage some of that anxiety. Always keep in mind that even though you are alone physically, there are so many people willing to help all around you! Now, on to Hong Kong. It is a special administrative region of China and has a population of around 7.5 million people, making it the fourth most densely populated region in the world. It is commonly known as a paradise for shoppers, with over 700 shops located only within Tsim Sha Tsui, however I found on my journey that it’s more than just shops and has something that every type of person will enjoy. From British-inspired, Hong Kong cuisine for foodies, to more modern Hong Kong-style dishes and light and aromatic traditional Cantonese food there are incredible tastes around every corner. To keep you busy during the day, you can try hikes with breathtaking views of the panoramic cityscape, bustling city streets and peaceful monasteries. I’ll take you on my trip around Hong Kong with some helpful tips and guidance for other LGBT+ solo travelers. Is Hong Kong Safe and LGBT+ Friendly? Hong Kong is generally considered an LGBT+ tolerant destination and I definitely felt that way too. During the week I spent within the city, I felt incredibly safe and welcomed, and often ventured out at night with no problems or predicaments with locals or other tourists. Whenever I ate out at restaurants and went shopping, the locals were incredibly kind and often helped me choose what was the best food to have or places to go. Hong Kong has a low violent crime rate, but like anywhere you may encounter pickpocketing or petty theft. Due to how crowded it can get within the cities and trains, make sure to always keep your personal belongings close and your wits about you. It is important to recognise that Hong Kong still does not recognize same-sex marriages and has limited legal protection for sexual orientation-based discrimination. I never experienced any altercations during my stay, but I would advise caution for how openly you express yourself and minimise PDA if you bring your partner as it can attract stares. Another thing to keep in mind is how you’re getting there. Some flight routes have layovers in countries which are not LGBT+ friendly so please keep that in mind when booking your flights. How to get around? There are three main regions in Hong Kong: Hong Kong Island, Kowloon Peninsula, and the New Territories. My accommodation was within Tsim Sha Tsui, Kowloon, and to be able to get around the whole of Hong Kong I only used the MTR (the mass transport railway). With around 5 million people using it daily, The MTR is the go-to way to get around Hong Kong by both locals and tourists. It has a very well-designed network and runs smoothly with little to no cancellations or train delays. It can be confusing for the first time with all the different routes, so using the MTR App to plan your journeys, see timings, and the costs of the trains is extremely helpful. Once you understand how it works, it is the cheapest and easiest form of transport to get you around Hong Kong. However, the MTR may not be able to get to the more rural areas and the new territories. For these, another quick and cheap alternative would be buses, all the bus routes/timings and costs would also be on the MTR app. An Octopus Card which you can get off Klook, an online app, for £9 and collect from the airport, is a safe, convenient way to make payments when you’re using public transport. Both Uber and Taxis are available to get as well in case you find the public transport overstimulating or if you need a quick pick up/drop off. How long do I stay for? I spent 7 days within the city and as someone who can get overly stimulated with loud noises and people, I believe around 3 days would be more than enough time to allow you to visit monuments and monasteries whilst also checking out the famous shopping malls like K11 and Harbour City. The bustling and crowded atmosphere can be strenuous after 3 days if you aren’t used to busy streets, so island hopping or taking a trip around the new territories make a good addition to your trip. With over 200 islands to choose from you’ll be spoilt for choice! I regret not taking advantage more of the rural islands as I stayed mostly in the more populated areas. Attractions to visit and activities to attend: Tours - I attended two tours during my stay. One tour was around Central Hong Kong and was centered around learning the culture as well as getting to experience a traditional dim sum restaurant lunch. While the other tour focused on exploring Lantau Island’s fishing village, visiting the Big Buddha and then getting the Ngong Ping 360 back to Central Hong Kong. Tours are a great thing to incorporate into your stay if you get anxious exploring by yourself, want some extra structure to your day, or if you simply want to get some local insight into Hong Kong’s past and its hidden gems. Lan Kwai Fong Bar Crawl - A sure way to meet people during your stay is to go on a bar crawl. If you want to meet other travelers and enjoy a drink in the process, I would highly recommend booking one. While meeting a group of strangers and engaging in conversation may seem incredibly daunting, you end up meeting people from all over the world and having some priceless moments and memories. After your bar crawl, there are many gay/Lesbian bars in Hong Kong which you can attend, such as Bing Bing and L’Paradis. I sadly did not have time after to attend these as the last train back to where I was staying was at midnight, however the reviews speak for themselves. (As always, make sure to be safe and keep your location on for a friend or family member with regular updates.) Victoria Peak – Victoria Peak is a mountain that looms over the skyscrapers within the city, at a height of 552 meters, it is the tallest point in all of Hong Kong. By taking a tram, which is the fastest and cheapest way up, you will encounter landscape views of the city which are unparalleled. Dragons Back Trail – Dragons Back Trail is an 8.5-km-long trail which takes between 2 and 5 hours to complete depending on your fitness level. It is located around the southeastern corner of Hong Kong Island. Make sure to pack snacks and drinks as there are no restaurants along the trail! The views on clear days are extraordinary but due to this you may come across a lot of people. Star Ferry - The Star Ferry is a passenger ferry service with its main route going across Victoria Harbour linking Hong Kong Island and Kowloon. The views at night across the Ferry are beautiful and with prices from around £2-£5 it's a must-see attraction. Nan Lian garden & Chi Lin Nunnery - Nan Lian Garden is a classical Chinese garden with a souvenir shop and a vegetarian food restaurant on site. Right next to the garden, connected by a footbridge over the road, is Chi Lin Nunnery which is a large Buddhist temple complex dating from the 1930’s and a charitable organisation since 1963. Inside you’ll find Tang Dynasty architecture and Buddhist relics. The closest MTR station to these destinations is Diamond Hill. Where to eat? Breakfast: My Cup of Tea/Australian Dairy Company (only accepts cash) Lunch/dinners: Ding Dim 1968/Dim Dim Sum/Chin Sik Sweet food/drinks: Mammy Pancake/Bakehouse/The Alley Vegetarian options are available, but Vegan options are limited to none. Where to stay? If you want to meet others and make friends on your trip, a hostel is an affordable and great option. There are private rooms available too if sharing a room doesn’t sound appealing. You can use search filters when searching for hostels/hotels such as LGBTQ+ Friendly to ensure you have booked a place which will make you feel safe and comfortable. There are many hotels within Hong Kong when looking on Booking.com, but don’t forget to check out Airbnb for any deals! Important note: passing privilege It’s important to recognise that even though I am a trans man, I am far into my transition and pass quite well. I may have been treated differently if I went at the beginning of my transition or if I were a trans woman for example. We all have different and unique experiences, and my experiences may not reflect those of other LGBT+ travellers views on Hong Kong. If you feel comfortable, please share your experiences of travelling as a trans person in the comments. We would love to hear what you think. Extra Tips: Book your Tours and activities through ‘Get Your Guide’ or ‘Klook’. Use Google maps to save places you ‘want to go’; this makes planning your day easier. Helpful Apps; Klook, Get Your Guide, MTR (I cannot stress how useful this app is if you’re planning on taking public transportation), Google translate, Booking.com, Airbnb. Get a Sim or an E-Sim to allow you to use google maps outside of your accommodation. You can get an app for your Octopus card online to add money whenever it is needed rather than having to transfer money onto it with cash at the MTR, however it is only available for iPhone 8 and above. There is an airport express train which links the urban area with Hong Kong International Airport. It's faster, safer and quieter. The only downfall is that you arrive at Hong Kong main station and then need to find MTR or get a taxi or shuttle to your destination. During my stay there were lots of other solo travelers wandering around – this helps you feel less lonely ironically!
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7 Cultures that recognise gender is not binary | International Non-Binary Peoples Day
7 Cultures That Recognise Gender Is Not Binary | International Non-Binary Peoples Day We are aware that by trying to describe other cultures, using Western references, and the English language you can end up missing the point. We’ve done our best to accurately portray each of the following cultures using the resources that are available in English, but if you feel we’ve missed something. Please let us know in the comments below. Non-binary, or Enby/NB, is an umbrella term for people who do not exclusively identify as either of the male or female genders. Most countries, including the UK, still do not recognise non-binary genders. Hindus, India, Nepal, Bangladesh The earliest known mention of non-binary people is in the Karma Sutra (written around 2000 years ago) where 'third-gender' people are mentioned. Non-binary characters hold significant roles in some of the most important texts of Hinduism, including the Mahabharata and the Ramayana. Hinduism’s philosophical and spiritual beliefs also support non-binary identities. Tantric traditions emphasize the unity of male and female principles within individuals, while the concept of atman (soul) is seen as genderless and eternal, transcending physical attributes and societal roles. These inclusive practices and beliefs highlight the flexibility and richness of Hindu cultural traditions, offering profound recognition and respect for non-binary and gender-diverse individuals. Find out more about Non-binary identities and Hinduism Bugis, Indonesia The Bugis people, the third largest ethnic group in South Sulawesi, Indonesia, recognize five distinct gender identities: makkunrai, oroané, bissu, calabai, and calalai. Each of these identities plays a crucial role in maintaining balance and harmony within Bugis society. Using English and Western gender concepts, oroané are comparable to cisgender men, makkunrai to cisgender women, calalai to trans men, and calabai to trans women. Bissu, who are androgynous or intersex, serve as revered shamans or community priests. The recognition of multiple genders is rooted in pre-Islamic Bugis traditions. These beliefs were later influenced by the arrival of Islam, but the fundamental understanding of gender diversity persisted. Traditional Bugis epics and literature, such as the Sureq Galigo, reference these diverse gender roles, indicating their long-standing presence in Bugis culture. Find out more about Bugis culture Muxe, Mexico Muxe people are Zapotec people who identify as third gender. Typically AMAB, muxes embrace feminine characteristics. The word Muxe bears a similarity to the Spanish word for “woman,” mujer. The people of the Indigenous Zapotec culture live mainly in Oaxaca in the south of Mexico. In general, Muxe people are respected in this region, and many families consider it a blessing to have a Muxe family member as they usually help with the 'womens duties' within the family. Due to this acceptance, Muxe people have more freedom to be visible in this region than other non-binary people have in the rest of Mexico. To many (mostly cis) people in the rest of the country, it seems Oaxaca has many more queer/non-binary people than in other areas. For this reason, there's a story that the Muxe "fell out of the pocket of Vicente Ferrer, the patron saint of Juchitán, as he passed through town, which, according to locals, means they were born under a lucky star." Learn more about Muxe people Sekrata, Madagascar The Sekrata people, also known as the Sekrata or Sakato, are a part of the Malagasy group in Madagascar and are recognised for their unique gender roles and identities that transcend traditional binary classifications. In Malagasy culture, there is generally a more fluid understanding of gender compared to many Western societies. The Sekrata are individuals who are AMAB but take on the roles, dress, and behaviours typically associated with women. They are often considered and respected as a third gender within their communities. In some Malagasy communities, the Sekrata may have spiritual or ritualistic roles as their unique position within the gender spectrum can be seen as bridging the gap between the physical and spiritual worlds. Learn more about Sekrata people Bakla, Phillipines Bakla people are a well-known and culturally significant group in the Philippines. The Philippines has a long history of recognizing diverse gender identities, and the Bakla are a prominent example of this inclusivity. The term "Bakla" can be fluid, encompassing a range of identities including transgender women, gay men, and gender-nonconforming individuals. Many Bakla identify themselves as "gay" in the Western sense but with a distinct cultural context. They often present in a feminine manner, including wearing women's clothing, adopting feminine mannerisms, and taking on traditionally female roles. While the Bakla are generally more accepted in Filipino society than in many other cultures, they still face challenges and discrimination. The struggle for broader acceptance and equal rights continues, with advocacy groups working to address issues related to gender identity and expression. Learn more about Bakla here Māhū, Hawaii The Māhū have been respected members of Hawaiian and Tahitian societies for centuries, long before Western contact. They play important roles in their communities and are a recognized part of the cultural fabric. Māhū individuals typically embody both masculine and feminine traits and they are often involved in cultural and spiritual practices, including healing, teaching, and performing traditional rituals. They might serve as caretakers, educators, and keepers of cultural traditions, such as hula and other native arts. In traditional Hawaiian and Tahitian societies, Māhū are generally respected and accepted. They are seen as an important part of the community, bridging the gap between genders and contributing to social harmony. They often hold significant roles in religious and cultural ceremonies. They are viewed as having special spiritual qualities that enable them to connect with both male and female aspects of life. Despite traditional acceptance, the Māhū have faced increased discrimination and stigma due to the influence of Western colonization and the imposition of binary gender norms. Efforts to reclaim and celebrate Māhū identities are ongoing. Learn more about Māhū people here. Femminelli, Naples The Femminelli have been an integral part of Neapolitan culture for centuries, with their presence documented since ancient times. They are commonly accepted by their communities but they can face discrimination and stigma outside of their neighbourhoods. The term Femminello itself is a term of endearment. Femminelli are typically AMAB people who embody a blend of both masculine and feminine traits, often presenting in a feminine manner. Femminelli are believed to bring good luck and are often celebrated for this in their communities. For example, it is popular in the neighborhoods for a femminiello to hold a baby to bring the child luck, or to bring good fortune in games of bingo or other gambling. During the annual pilgrimage to the Shrine of Montevergine, many Femminelli come to pay homage to the the Black Madonna, who is believed to have saved two gay men from execution for their sexuality. This yearly pilgrimage is a blend of religious devotion and the celebration of gender diversity. Learn more about femminelli here. We would like to continue to update this post adding cultures we have missed. Let us know in the comments if you know of a culture you think we should add.
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